From silence came the ego, from the ego came thought, and from thought came speech. So if speech is effective, how much more effective must be its source!
-- Ramana Maharshi
Dear Family,
In our last newsletter, I mentioned my plan to go into one year of silence beginning in the fall of this year. I wrote about it mainly to use as an example of the theme of the newsletter, "Following God." We had no idea that so many of our readers would feel fascinated, upset, supportive, concerned, abandoned, betrayed, or just plain dumbfounded as to why I would spend a year without speaking.
There were enough letters and comments to warrant a little further discussion about the whole thing.
First, some clarifications: Yes, my year of silence means no speaking, whispering, singing, or chanting to anyone at all, even my wife. It does not mean I will be in total solitude the whole time. On September 2nd, I will go into solitude for forty days in a small hermitage (twelve feet by twelve feet) in the forest near our home. When I return around October 11th, I will be participating in our community life and our work schedule, but silently. Because my "year" is actually from full moon to full moon, it will not be until September 21st, 2002, that I resume speaking. I will probably do another forty-day retreat leading up to that date. So about one-quarter of the year will be in solitude, and three-quarters going about my normal activities.
This is not a vow of non-communication, so I will occasionally write notes for practical purposes. The people in our community know how to support a vow of silence, so they will be doing what they can to minimize the number of notes I may need to write. I am not sure whether I will write individual letters, or articles for our newsletters. I imagine my first forty-day retreat will fill in a lot of those details.
A year of silence is not "time off" in any way. Believe me, I am not abandoning any of you, I am not breaking the ties of our friendship. All I have ever done is to share the realities of the spiritual life, including my own practices and experiences. I sincerely feel that this year of silence is as much for your benefit as mine, or else I would not do it. I feel God has called me to do this, and since there is only one God, then God knows what you need from this as well.
One reader sent all sorts of practical advice about not eating meat, not watching television or listening to the radio, not reading books other than sacred books, and so forth. Thanks for the tips; most of what you wrote is my normal lifestyle already!
Another reader expressed her concern for the strain on my marriage. Again, thanks, but Sita and I deeply believe in spiritual practice and in going "outside the envelope," and so we are both more curious than afraid. We will celebrate our thirty-fifth wedding anniversary early this year, in July or August instead of September, and I’m sure we’ll do something very special.
A few people encouraged me to learn sign language, but I do not intend to be communicating enough to merit that. One aim of my year of silence is to quiet down, not just to figure out other ways to say things.
Things that are REAL are given and received in Silence.
-- Meher Baba
Two groups of prisoners felt that I am abandoning them, as fathers or other male elders have done all through their lives. Nothing could be further from the Truth. I am stepping up my own spiritual work to be a better friend to you all. I have said repeatedly through the years that it takes time and effort to be deep. It does. I am taking the time and effort of a year in silence in order to be of more value to each and every one of you. My love and commitment to you is a primary motivation for my year of silence.
One reader asked, "Have you ever heard of any self-realized mutes?," suggesting that a year of silence is not what I should be doing. But actually, yes, the spiritual history of the world is filled with saints and sages who took vows of silence for periods of time or for their entire lives. Silence is one of the most universal and classic spiritual practices of every race and culture. Spending one year in silence is not really a very big deal in the spiritual literature. I’m still minor league, really. There’s nothing extreme or fanatic about this.
In Michelangelo’s world-famous painting on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel in Italy, man reaches his finger towards God, and God reaches his finger towards man. Every spiritual practice, including a year or even a lifetime of silence, is no more than reaching a finger toward God, saying "Lord, here is a humble token of my effort to reach you. I pray that Your finger reaches down toward mine at the same time."
To those who feel I am being foolish or unkind, I urge you to remember that it is always risky to judge someone else’s spiritual practices from the outside. The path to God has never been a crowd-pleaser or easy to understand. Many sages have been regarded as fools, and many have been scorned by their own friends and family for doing what they felt God was calling them to do. Even Jesus got a terrible reception in His home town of Nazareth and said, "A prophet is not without honor save in his own home."
I hope I can count on your prayers and blessings from the full moon of September 2001 until the full moon of September 2002. There may be periods of great difficulty in store for me, and I would like to know I have your love and support to see me through. I promise, you will always share in the benefits of whatever I find.
PRACTICE:
A DAY OF SILENCE
Occasional periods of silence are recommended by every wisdom tradition. Modern life (and prison life) can be extremely noisy, and this constant noise can keep us from experiencing life as honestly or clearly as we may like. Sita and I have found great value in many periods of silence. For several years, each of us spent one day a week in silence. There are two main types of the practice of silence, and they are both very valuable in different ways.
1. Silence in an otherwise normal day: Practicing silence in an otherwise normal day can be extremely insightful into the nature of our speech patterns. It also shows us that the world gets along quite well without our two cents’ worth, and usually inspires us to try to speak a little bit less when we do resume speaking.
- Let your close associates, especially family, bosses, cellmates or staff, know in advance. Then print a little card saying, "I’m practicing a day of silence." You can choose to explain more, or to add, "Thanks for your understanding," but keep it brief. It’s great if people understand, but some will not, and may make a joke of it or even resent you for it. Don’t get all huffy or hurt about it. Leave their own spiritual work to them.
- Carry a notepad and pencil, but do not join in on social or personal discussions. You are taking a break from that. Work-related matters (or, in prison, dealing with officers) are different. Even there, be as brief as possible and true to your intent of disengaging yourself from all but the most necessary matters of communication. You may want a second prepared card that reads, "Can I discuss this with you tomorrow?"
- At mealtimes, you may be surprised at how much effect one silent person can have on a table full of conversation – especially when conversation turns to gossip or backbiting. In a way, your silent "witness" may help others to better hear what they sound like.
2. Silent retreat day: The other way of practicing silence is to retreat from all your normal activities and from the presence of others to the greatest degree possible. If you can’t go to a cabin in the woods or some other isolated place, you may want to simply spend the day in your cell or your bedroom. However you arrange it, here are a few tips to get the most out of a day of silent retreat:
- Plan your meals in advance, and plan for only about half of what you may normally eat. This helps you to be quieter. Simple foods are best. I take a heel of bread and some fruit with me. Sometimes I fast entirely.
- Do not spend a lot of the day reading. If you choose to read at all, plan it in advance and limit it to brief spiritual writings which may help you to work with silence. Do not listen to music or watch television.
- Try to spend time in nature, listening and observing. If you have no access to the outdoors, try watching the sky and all its changes through a window. If you have no window, then focus a lot on everything in your cell, even the movement of shadows on the walls, distant sounds, or ants walking across the floor.
- Try not to let thoughts dominate the day. Keep your focus in the here and now. The best way to do this is to focus on perceptions of the senses – seeing, listening, touching, smelling, tasting, walking.
- Slow breaths, deeper breaths, help quiet the mind and body. Your breath is the source of your life. Each breath arises from and returns to silence. When you tap into the Big Breath and the Great Silence, you’ll know it!
Fredrick "Mr. Bull" Chaney, Jr., was first
busted at fourteen for selling marijuana and did a turn in Juvenile Hall. He stepped up to
the big time when at nineteen he got his first prison sentence. For the next twenty years,
he continued a senseless, vicious cycle of prison-parole-crime to support his habit. At
age thirty-three, Mr. Bull tested HIV-positive due to his long history of intravenous drug
use. 